Compassion and connection in hospitality homestays

During my time in Nepal with the International Development Nepal Field School, my most memorable intercultural experience was in the rural community of Gorkhe, where the course focused on rural sustainable development. From the moment we arrived, the warmth and wisdom of this community were immediately apparent as we were welcomed with open arms and open hearts. 

A key factor in building such a powerful connection was the collective nature of the interaction, involving the entire village and surrounding community. As part of the opening ceremony to welcome us, we were blessed with tika marks and khata scarves that symbolize good fortune and compassion, as well as courage and strength to acknowledge the long journey we had taken to visit their community.  

Since tourism is a major source of revenue for Nepal, our visit carried particular significance, directly supporting the Gorkhe community’s development. Upon our arrival and throughout our stay, the community expressed their immense gratitude for our support, recognizing us as the first large group to visit their village, as part of their homestay association developmental project. This exchange generated a reciprocal relationship, allowing the people of Gorkhe to benefit from our presence while also practicing their English through meaningful conversations.

In this context, our visit was a step towards directly supporting the Gorkhe community’s development without the constraints of government oversight or interference. Additionally, we as students were able to engage in experiential learning surrounding the rural practices and traditions of the Gorkhe people, including tea and cheese production, community education, and local customs. 

Experiential learning involves active engagement with the host community, prompting individuals to engage as reflective learners and participants rather than remaining passive observers. This was my first time engaging with such a learning style. Through such a format, the intimacy of the interaction was more conducive to sparking a connection as opposed to students just observing Gorkhe life.

A major driver of this process was the homestay-style accommodations we were provided with. This set the experience apart for me since the typical tourist-hotel dynamic was transformed into one of friendship and family. Instead of staying separate from the community in a commercial area, we were welcomed into the houses of our hosts, immediately experiencing the Gorkhe way of life.

In terms of accommodations, each homestay was unique to each household. Some students had their meals offered in the same accommodation, while others had a family that offered them food and a different room for rest. Either way, each and every homestay offered love, support and connection, to such an extent that, despite the language barrier, meaningful connections were made by the end of our stay. This was made possible by the warmth and sincerity shown by the community – both when we arrived and throughout our stay. 

We relied on hand gestures, facial expressions and laughter to communicate wit heach other. A lot of the younger members of the community also spoke English, so occasionally neighbours of our hosts would stop by to check in on us and see how we were enjoying the food and company. It was such a lovely experience to feel so valued and cared for. In terms of hospitality, I have never felt so thoroughly looked after.  

At our first meal, my roommate Mady and I were introduced to our host family’s two sons, who no longer reside in Gorkhe, over FaceTime. This introduction depicted how important our being there was to our hosts and how much love they expressed through their hospitality. Every meal was offered on overflowing plates of food and accompanied by sincere smiles. Additionally, if one accommodation lacked certain infrastructure, neighbours were quick to open their doors to help. Tea was always offered, and food was continuously piled onto our plates to the point where we had to refuse seconds for the sanctity of our stomachs.  

During moments of hardship and discomfort, such as rainstorms and landslides, villagers continuously welcomed us into their homes for tea and shelter. Furthermore, when our hosts in Gorkhe heard that we had to walk back in the storm due to a landslide, a group of them trekked 45 minutes outside the village to meet us, bringing umbrellas and guiding us safely back. They then welcomed us with additional accommodations and another warm meal for the extra night. 

When it was time to say goodbye, we were given individual gifts from our hosts, such as hand-rolled tea leaves, notebooks, flowers, hats and more khatas. We also brought gifts for our host to show our appreciation. The compassion and gratitude during the exchange were mutual. When thinking back on these gestures, I cannot help but be forever grateful for the memories made and the connections cultivated.

My host was teary-eyed as we hugged goodbye and clutched my hand before we drove off. We added each other on Facebook, and upon arriving at our next destination, I received the message: “Have a safe journey. We will miss you all in our hearts. Goodbye.” I replied “Thank you so much for everything. I’ll always carry the memories and kindness you shared with me. I’ll miss you too, and I hope we meet again someday. Take care and stay well.”  

Upon reflecting on this exchange, I have come to appreciate the cohesiveness of community and its beauty. I now understand that there are different avenues to connection through communication that do not always have to involve language or spoken word. In this sense, love is a language of its own, offering solstice to those open and willing to embrace it. Most importantly, the way love shows up and is enacted does not always look the same. 

All photos were taken by the author. 

Jorja Allen is in the third year of a BA in Political Science at the University of Guelph.

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