Kindness in Nepali culture: The experience in my homestay in Gorkhe

Something I learnt immediately upon entering Gorkhe was how deeply rooted kindness is in Nepali culture. We were greeted with beautiful music, warm smiles, scarfs, and flowers upon our arrival. 

When Nora and I got to our home stay, our host offered us a smile and showed us around her home. We learnt quickly that she didn’t speak English, and since we didn’t know Nepali, we communicated in a lot of hand gestures. 

Our first meal was a memorable one. As Nora and I ate with our forks and knives, our host began laughing. Not knowing why, we started laughing along with her, which in turn made her laugh even more. We realized later that it was because we were eating with spoons, when usually in Nepal you eat with your hands. The next day Nora and I embraced this practice and ate with our hands, our host smiling and nodding in approval. It felt amazing to eat with our hands, somehow making the food taste even better than it already was. 

That night, a rather large bug found its way into Nora’s room. She squealed, which brought our host rushing in to see what was wrong. After a few hand gestures she understood, and put her hands on Nora’s shoulder as if to say “it’s just a bug, don’t be afraid”. That night when Nora and I brushed our teeth, our host walked out to the outdoor sink with us to look for bugs, and pointed them out so we wouldn’t be afraid. She also gestured that the light attracted the bugs, so Nora and I made sure to turn off our light the next day before dark. 

On our final day, a closing ceremony was held. One of our hosts offered Nora and I scarves as a token of farewell. As he wrapped the scarf around my neck he smiles and says “for my daughter”. Such a simple statement that I will never forget. 

Witnessing and experiencing kindness in Nepali culture has made me realize how different it can look compared to western culture. In Nepal, kindness is shown through hospitality, attentiveness, and small acts of care, as shown through the examples above. People show hospitality in Canada, but often it is to people we know. We will invite friends and family over to our home, but it is rare to show the same type of kindness to a stranger. Our host family didn’t know us well, and yet they invited us into their home with open arms, and treated us as though we were their own daughters.  

Intercultural competence is the capability to accurately understand and adapt behaviour to cultural difference and commonality. This experience is teaching me to become more interculturally competent, adjusting and adapting to this type of kindness. Recognizing that compassion can come in many forms is key to connecting with others across cultures. Going forward, this has changed how I think about giving kindness. Being kind to people I don’t know is something I will be more mindful of. Small gestures to people can mean so much, especially when they are in an unfamiliar environment. Kindness isn’t something to be earned, but should be offered no matter what.  

My experience in Gorkhe was heartwarming. It challenged me to step out of my comfort zone, and connect with people without speaking the same language. The kindness radiating the Nepali culture is contagious, and an experience that I will remember forever. 

The photo was taken by the author. 

Katherine Billing is in the second year of a BA in international development at the University of Guelph. 

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